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Below are the 12 most recent journal entries recorded in John Hazard's LiveJournal:

Wednesday, October 27th, 2004
3:00 pm
The Tall Man Rocks!!!
No, not me. I mean Angus Scrimm, the perfectly evil Tall Man from the Phantasm movies! He's going to be at a screening of Phantasm and another film down at the Pioneer. Anybody in NYC want to go check it out? I need someone to take my picture hugging Mr. Scrimm- it's the closest I'll ever get to Karloff!

The Pioneer Theater 155 East 3rd Street at Ave. A http://www.twoboots.com

Director James McKenney and star Angus Scrimm in person!
Rick and Kathryn settle into a dingy motel for the winter. The neighbors are quite odd, but there's something much more bizarre occupying this seaside dwelling. Screening from digital video, as was the filmmaker’s intention. Sneak preview! 1st half of a double bill with PHANTASM.
(directed by James McKenney, 2004, length unavailable at press time)

** star Angus Scrimm in person!
** 35mm print from the personal collection of Don Coscarelli
If this one doesn't scare you, you're already dead! A young boy and his friends face off against a mysterious grave-robber known only as the "Tall Man." 2nd half of a double bill with THE OFFSEASON.
(directed by Don Coscarelli, 1979, 88 mins)

Current Mood: geeky
Wednesday, October 6th, 2004
8:54 pm
I'm not a Vibrator Hater...
My roommates right now are 2 college girls. Very nice, very attractive, though thank goodness not my type. They sleep in the bedroom and I sleep on the fold-out couch in the living room. We don't see much of each other- I tend to come in very late. Monday night I came in much earlier than usual, and the girls weren't in. They had uncharacteristically left a lot of their stuff on and around my couch- I'm sure they thought they would be back to clean up long before I got in. Their stuff included newspapers, school paperwork, bits and peices left over from art projects...

....and the empty package of a newly purchased vibrator!

The model was the Celebrity Slimline G (a friend wanted to know), it's "...unique female contour shape provides the ultimate stimulating G-Spot pleasure". The hardware was missing (in the bedroom I guess- or did she give it a trial run on my couch?) but the package still contained a free packet of Wildfire lubricant.

When she came in, she quickly cleaned up and appologized for leaving stuff in my area. I said it was okay, and tried not to smile. I didn't want to make her feel embarassed- we all have our extracurricular methods of relaxation. Gawd forbid they look in the box of "art supplies" next to my couch/bed.
Wednesday, September 15th, 2004
7:58 pm
Naughty naughty non-Updater
Yeah, yeah, I've fallen off the update wagon. The reason? ANIMATION CONTEST!!! I was trying to get something ready for a contest run by Animation Magazine and Nicktoons. I spent most of the time working on my characters and script, then, the last 2 weeks was a grind of all-nighters in an office that's like an oven on the weekends. I got lucky with the Republican National Convention- my office closed down for the week- we were supposed to work from home, but instead I did my week's work in one all-night marathon, then concentrated on churning out my goofy invention. It was supposed to be a pilot for a new cartoon series, about 7 minutes long, but you know what? Animation is hard!!! Backgrounds, music, sound effects, vocals, script... it's just too much for one guy to do. I got a little under 2 minutes done, rushed it off....then a day later, they extended the deadline!!! I was so glad to be done working on it. But now I have to keep cranking. It's like a sickness.
7:37 pm
Review- SHAUN of the DEAD!!!!!!!!!
Just saw a free preview of Shaun of the Dead- Best movie of the Summer!!!
Okay, the Summer is sort of over, but I can't think of any movie that was better.
AvP was okay....Excorcist the Beginning was okay......
The Village was entertaining, up until the very unsatisfying end.
I haven't seen SpiderMan or Kill Bill yet!
The DAWN of the Dead re-do was good, really scary. Fast zombies are scarier than slow ones, but just not as fun.
But SHAUN was funny, with great zombies and gore, and some great emotional stuff too.
And for once, a decent ending!
Go see it- super funny, super fun.

Current Mood: impressed
Wednesday, July 21st, 2004
8:14 pm
I Must Be Looking Famous Today...
I had to sneak out of work this morning to make a quick run to the post office. My kids are at bible camp (seriously! Tho I think my son just goes for the girls) and I had to send them each a letter. Now, I work in the MTV building, the one you see on TRL (if u watch MTV- I don't). There were some girls in line for TRL and one, who was sitting on the sidewalk, started screaming to her friends as I passed by- "Who was that- WHO WAS THAT?!?" I had on my sunglasses, and I guess with the long hair etc. , she thought I was SOMEBODY. A couple minutes later a guy tried to stop me on the street, grabbing my shoulder and yelling, "Hey, Superstar!!!" I gave him the ol' Isaac from the Love Boat double guns point, and moved on.

I wonder who I looked like.
Saturday, July 17th, 2004
2:21 am
Peg Me Baby

Took the personality test that brooklyngirl  posted on her journal. It says I'm a HIPPIE, which is TOTALLY whack. Much of
the rest of it IS pretty accurate....

"You are an SECF--Sober Emotional Constructive Follower. This makes you a hippie. You are passionate about your causes and steadfast in your commitments. Once you've made up your mind, no one can convince you
otherwise. Your politics are left-leaning, and your lifestyle choices decidedly temperate and chaste.You do tremendous work when focused, but usually you operate somewhat distracted. You blow hot and cold, and while you normally endeavor on the side of goodness and truth, you have a massive mean streak which is not to
be taken lightly. You don't get mad, you get even."

Fair warning- it's true, I keep a mean grudge. Forgiveness is for Jesus and suckers.

12:42 am
Son of Freakenstein!
Haven't updated in too long!
Last weekend Devon came down to visit me and stay at ma new digs near Washington Square Park. Saturday night we saw Fareinheit 911, which was awesome. Propoganda, maybe, but I totally buy it. The next day we went to Coney Island- did the Aquarium, a couple rides (Spook House was poop- someday I'd like to design a really good Spook House). Couldn't get him on the Cyclone tho (crazy teenagers!)
Then we did what Devon was really looking forward to- the Freak Show. It was fun- all the girls were really hot- the snake girl, the rubber girl, and the tattooed girl who ate bugs (given the chance, I would totally have made out with her, even with the bug and worm guts on her tongue). The rubber girl went into a box and the fire eater guy stuck blades into the box. Then he stuck his hand in there to see if she was okay- and "accidentally" pulled her dress out (she still had a bikini on). Then he asked who would want to pay a dollar to come onstage and look down into the box to see her remarkably contorted (and remarkably bikini-clad) body. Devon didn't even ask me- he whipped out a dollar SO fast. Teenagers!
The high point was when the Geek had Devon and me get onstage. He layed (lied?) down on a bed of nails and put another on his stomach, then had Devon and I stand on it! I felt bad- I wanted to warn him that I was heavier than I look. But he seemed okay, and it really made our day.
That night we rented Meet the Parents (funny). It ended around 11PM, so we went out and rented another! You can't do that in Yonkers, or Saratoga. Well, maybe you can, but it's way cooler to do it in NYC. We got There's Something About Mary. Felt a little weird watching Ben Stiller "clean his gun" and Cameron No-Azz put his splooge on her hair with the boy there, but we had lots of laffs, though Devon came to realize he didn't care for that whiny character Ben Stiller keeps playing.
Friday, July 2nd, 2004
1:03 am
It's Hard to be a Saint in the City (bowie!)
Coming home on the 4 train after a late night o' work. A girl asks me about my hair and my tattoo.
Then she says to her girlfriends that she's going to get a tattoo and a push-up bra from Victoria's Secret for when her baby's daddy gets out of jail.

Another subterrainian city-tale:
Last night I was watching TV- something cute about an animal being discovered hiding behind a tree, and it occurred to me that I had just seen something just like this, only in real life.
What was it?
Then I remembered:
Earlier that evening, waitin' on the 4 train, I noticed a crack head hiding behind a support beam, sucking on his pipe.
Similar to the little animal, but not quite as cute.

By the way, if you're reading this from outside of our fair city, I feel the need to tell you- this kind of stuff is the exception, not the rule. Seriously. No, really.

P.S. this is the first time I am updating via my t-mobile SideKick!!! We're living in the future, people!!!

Current Mood: civilised
Monday, June 28th, 2004
7:40 pm
Celebrity Blogs!!!
You dare call my blog boring?!! Try these choice celeb blogs instead. Me, I'm going to check out Gillian Anderson's. Gawsh, she's mighty perty- for a skinny chick.


One of my faves- even if she's in an anorexic faze right now (sigh) she's still brill. Anyone see her on Blowdry? She was a nice break from the brutally unsubtle product placement. AMERICAN EXPRESS and LENSCRAFTERS RULE!!!!:
5:44 pm
Want to hear a gross story?
Okay, but it requires I reveal something odd about me first.
I stay with my kids in Saratoga Springs almost every single weekend (200 miles away, 5 hours each way, $80 every weekend!). When I come back to Manhattan my bus arrives about 1:30 am Sunday night/Monday morning. My office is a couple blocks from Port Authority, so I come here, work on my computer for a while (work stuff or personal), then I take a nap on the floor before morning.
So after I got up this morning, I looked down at the floor, and about a foot from where my head had just been there was a giant New York City cockroach.
I freak out and started tearing up the room trying to get him, but he got away.
I decided not to tell anyone. I figured everyone would freak out. So I cleaned up and hoped I could find him later (or never see him again). Later, when folks started coming in, I heard the girls outside my office making a commotion....
The roach had gone through the air conditioner vent, into the next room, and was under an intern's desk.
So there was already a MAN out there chasing it down- my friend Patrick- but he was being too slow, and I had a personal score to settle. So I crawled under the desk, and after losing it a couple of times, I got it in one of those plastic containers blank CD's come in.
After showing it to the boss (just to freak him out), I took it to the bathroom and sent him back to hell. I flushed 5 times.
Then peed (you have to defile the corpse or it'll just keep coming back).
Then I flushed again (and yes, washed my hands good).

On a lighter Man-vs.-Nature note? Yesterday, while upstate, I was gazing absent-mindedly out the back door while on the phone, and a hummingbird flew down and hovered in front of my nose. It was like seeing an angel.
4:02 am
New Tatt!!!!!!!
Yes, it's true-I finally got my first virgin tattoo. Gawd, did it hoit. It was my Father's Day gift to myself- It was a very bad time to be spending money on frivolous things, what with that damned security deposit- but I had made a bet with my kids back around New Year's that I'd get my first one by this Dad's Day, and I just couldn't see giving the little monsters 20 bucks each. I had always wanted one, but when you've got babies, there's always something more important you've got to spend your money on for them ( $300 sneakers, turntables, gold teeth caps). Besides, it made for a very memorable D-Day- my daughter seemed to really enjoy seeing me in extreme agony. To make things even more interesting, we made a side bet that if I cried I'd have to give 'em both $10, but I've endured so much pain in my life- emotional, physical, and voluntary (wink wink!!) that I was able to bear it with a minimal break in my Native American/Vulcan stoicism. If it weren't for the cost, I'd get another tomorrow.

Current Mood: accomplished
Saturday, June 26th, 2004
2:21 am
Can We Start Again Please?
Since there's been some major changes in my life, I thought I'd start this journal over from scratch. Basically, my girlfriend (with whom I've lived for about 4 years) and I have decided to split up. We came to the difficult conclusion that we both want different things out of life. So, I'm moving out- from the crappy suburbs and a dreadful commute, to glorious downtown New York City. I'll be sharing an apartment with a writer/teacher- a nice guy, he reminds me of a cross between Christopher Guest and John Malkovich (he has the same quiet ambiguity). I'll be there when he isn't (weeknights and mornings), and he'll be there when I'm at work or upstate with the kids (afternoons and weekends).
So, the big news is, I'll have much more time now for my artwork. I have a lot of things that have been boiling over on my back burner, and I hope to start cranking on all kinds of great new projects. Some for money, some for fun. Also, I hope to spend some quality time enjoying my beloved City. Who knows, I may even -gulp- socialize! Well, for now let's just start with this journal. I swear, this time I'll keep it up. Like the little guy said on one of my favorite Twilight Zone episodes- "There's time now."
In one week, project Impending Doom 2 begins!!!

Current Mood: hopeful
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